I start with last weekend when my son's baby sitter who suddenly proposed for her day off that she can regularly take for 2 days in every month. Since it's her right then we don't have any problem with that, but it will be nicer if she'd tell us few days before. But thankfully my son doesn't really need much of her help anymore so a sudden day off wasn't a big deal actually, but that's not the problem... The problem is that she suddenly text me (after I text her to ask why hasn't she return yet while she supposed to return on the day before) to say that she couldn't work with me anymore. And that's it.... bye bye baby sitter!
So I've lost someone who used to help me to clean the house and do ironing, but I don't really like the person for some reasons either and I was like almost... almost to fired her once because of an absolutely annoying mistake she has done, well... I don't really miss the baby sitter! And everything are still under control. Alhamdulillah... And look at bright side, it makes me and husband working together to clean the house and take care of our son. And I'm more in love to my husband then before! :))
And I also
And the worse is when I lose my blackberry which just happened today. We went for cinema marathon today, which was planned on the go. Me and husband really wanted to see The Pirates of Caribbean, but since there's no nanny then we should take our son with us too. We have set the condition for my son to be asleep during the film, well the film is clearly not for his age. Feeling guilty for making my son to accompany us for something he doesn't enjoy, I then asked husband to take our son to watch Cars 2. The idea has been approved, we then watch Cars 2 but at another cinema to match the movie schedule. Since my son has got enough sleep on the first movie, he didn't get sleepy at all while watching Cars 2. Wasn't that good? Well... it is actually almost impossible to make an 18 months old boy to sit and watch movie for more then one hour... at least to my son. He got bored after 40 minutes. So I toke him for a walk while husband still enjoy the movie. But that wasn't enough for my son, he wants his dad to be with him too, so we then left the cinema when the movie was still played. Then I realized that I have left my phone on my seat after we got home. :(
I don't feel really sad for my phone, I am more to feel embarrassed... embarrassed to God. Every time I hear friend or anyone saying that he/she has lost her phone or something valuable, I usually ask weather he/she has give enough for sedekah or zakat. And yet it happens to me. So I've been thinking a little more this evening, there must be something bad I have done and God is trying to remind me for it. Then it gives me a little flashback...
Few years ago when I was on my way to the airport to pick some friends from Malaysia, I accidentally hit a car which was rolling slowly in front of my car. I wasn't on a speed, it was like 10-20 km/h actually, but what caused me a car crash was a silly little mosquito which I was trying to kill... and BANG!!! I was OK, the car I hit was OK, but my car was crushed badly. I was shocked, didn't know what to do... it was actually my dad's car which he let me to use every time I need it that time. I was so shocked and felt guilty. My dad was quite disappointed at me, he should be... I made him spent a lot of money to fix the car. And something my dad has said to me that time that I will never forget was "God must have love you so much! Think of anything bad you have done, and why He is trying to remind you this way!".
And now it happens again. I feel embarrassed, like any wife feels embarrassed when her husband is disappointed to her, like any child feel embarrassed when his/her parents are angry to him/her, like any worker feel embarrassed when his/her boss is unhappy for what he/she has done.... God is unhappy with things I have done. Yeah, of course I have made tons and tons mistakes, continuously... and my worse mistake for today is that I have abandoned my Zuhur prayer just to watch movie and make it at Ashar, while I actually can make it on time. What a lame.
God might telling me this:
"Hey Di, it's not that hard for Me to get you to worse situation than losing a cellphone. But I love you, and pretty unhappy for you have abandoned Me... let this be a lesson for you to learn. You should think of Me more, I am The One who gives you love that you get from your surrounding, I am The One who gives you wealth so you can spend it to watch movie in cinema, I am The One who gives you happiness... Why wont you think of Me more? Is my love is not enough for you?
With the greatest love you can never get from anything in the world,
God."
*astaghfirullah :'(
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