He's sucha doll!

I'm having a nipple sore for the last few days. For all moms who has experienced it must know well how hurt that is. :( It wasn't because of error latch on, my son is already 19 months, he knows well how to latch on... He unintentionally bite my nipple while sleeping. It wasn't just a sore actually, it bleed!

My son used to breastfeed only from my right breast. For a reason that he only would know why, he refuse to breastfeed from the left side since the last few months. Whenever I offer him the wrong side he would straightly asked "mana yang satu lagi??" He just doesn't want the left side, period. :p

I still breastfeed him from the right side last night to put him asleep, tried hard to resist the pain. At 2 a.m I woke up with awful sore while my son was breastfeeding (again) from the right side. At 4 a.m I couldn't hold the pain anymore, so I begged him to stop sucking. He looked into my face tried hard not the cry because her mom has asked him to stop breastfeeding and said with pity "Ummi sakit?" Oh dear... :'(

I asked him to breastfeed from the left, I was worried that he would be cranky or what but he didn't. He tried to suck from the left side but it couldn't last long... he couldn't sleep with that. Instead of being cranky or angry or what, he just complaining for feeling itch because of mosquito's bite... which I understand that its actually because he was still sleepy but couldn't be asleep. He once asked for "nenen satu lagi" but I explained him that my right breast is in pain so we should let it rest for a while... just for a while. He was such a doll, understandingly accept my excuse. But the problem is that he was sleepy and he need to breastfeed from the right side to be asleep. We both trying hard not to cry at that moment. :'(

I felt like an impotent! Not being able to give my son his right has really really made me cry a river. I wish I could just ignore the pain but I also worry if the sore might get worse. I've read some cases where those nipple sore become pus, thus mom should really stop breastfeeding her baby. :'(

At the end... believing that pain is actually controlled by the brain and healthiness can be maintained by positive mind, I chose to ignore the pain and breastfeed my son again. Who can resist while he said:
"maaf... maaf, Ummi..."
"mau nenen... boleh?"
...with a very very sweet tone, for almost every time he wants to breastfeed! Oh for God sake, he's just 19 months old!!!!!

FYI I'm crying now while typing this post! :'"""(

My son is such a doll! God is super super superrrrrrrr for sending me this kid.

"Yes sweetheart, of course you can breastfeed from me... no one would ever ask you not to! Just until it's time to wean... which obviously not now!!! I'm so lucky for having you..."


:''''''''')