He's sucha doll!

I'm having a nipple sore for the last few days. For all moms who has experienced it must know well how hurt that is. :( It wasn't because of error latch on, my son is already 19 months, he knows well how to latch on... He unintentionally bite my nipple while sleeping. It wasn't just a sore actually, it bleed!

My son used to breastfeed only from my right breast. For a reason that he only would know why, he refuse to breastfeed from the left side since the last few months. Whenever I offer him the wrong side he would straightly asked "mana yang satu lagi??" He just doesn't want the left side, period. :p

I still breastfeed him from the right side last night to put him asleep, tried hard to resist the pain. At 2 a.m I woke up with awful sore while my son was breastfeeding (again) from the right side. At 4 a.m I couldn't hold the pain anymore, so I begged him to stop sucking. He looked into my face tried hard not the cry because her mom has asked him to stop breastfeeding and said with pity "Ummi sakit?" Oh dear... :'(

I asked him to breastfeed from the left, I was worried that he would be cranky or what but he didn't. He tried to suck from the left side but it couldn't last long... he couldn't sleep with that. Instead of being cranky or angry or what, he just complaining for feeling itch because of mosquito's bite... which I understand that its actually because he was still sleepy but couldn't be asleep. He once asked for "nenen satu lagi" but I explained him that my right breast is in pain so we should let it rest for a while... just for a while. He was such a doll, understandingly accept my excuse. But the problem is that he was sleepy and he need to breastfeed from the right side to be asleep. We both trying hard not to cry at that moment. :'(

I felt like an impotent! Not being able to give my son his right has really really made me cry a river. I wish I could just ignore the pain but I also worry if the sore might get worse. I've read some cases where those nipple sore become pus, thus mom should really stop breastfeeding her baby. :'(

At the end... believing that pain is actually controlled by the brain and healthiness can be maintained by positive mind, I chose to ignore the pain and breastfeed my son again. Who can resist while he said:
"maaf... maaf, Ummi..."
"mau nenen... boleh?"
...with a very very sweet tone, for almost every time he wants to breastfeed! Oh for God sake, he's just 19 months old!!!!!

FYI I'm crying now while typing this post! :'"""(

My son is such a doll! God is super super superrrrrrrr for sending me this kid.

"Yes sweetheart, of course you can breastfeed from me... no one would ever ask you not to! Just until it's time to wean... which obviously not now!!! I'm so lucky for having you..."


:''''''''')

Expert

Di salah satu sesi waktu karantina untuk E-idea, terlontar pertanyaan dari salah satu pembicaranya (mas Alexander Sriewijono) yang kurang lebih isinya begini: "kalau kamu ditanya sebagai ahli dalam suatu bidang, apa jawaban mu?" Yang maksudnya kalau berani mengaku ahli dalam bidang tersebut berarti tau hampir 100% tentang itu dan jadi acuan orang-orang untuk hal itu. Hehe... nggak susah rupanya buat gue jawabnya!

Profesi sih boleh lah tukang korek-korek mulut orang, tapi yaaaah gue belum yang pakar deh ya. Entrepreneurship? Jelas bukan lah yaaaak... jaoooh! Diving? Preeeet...jumlah dive log gue aja masih nggak ada apa-apanya dibanding jumlah bulu keteknya Jean Michel Coustou. Satu hal yang gue ahli dan nggak ada orang lain di dunia yang lebih pakar dari gue soal ini adalah..... eng ing eng.... jreng jreng.... ting tang ting tung.... kemplakkemplung... blakatak blukutuk.... GROMBHYAAANGGGG!!!! .... yaaak, gue boleh ngaku jadi ahlinya ANAK GUA!

Anak gue di nyaris19 bulan umurnya ini, masih cuma gue manusia yang paling ngerti maunya, kebiasannya, bahasanya, moodnya, matanya, seluk-beluknya, ekspresinya, kesukannya, ketakutannya, dari bangun sampai tidurnya... nyaris semuanya! Walau pun gue kenal suami gue lebih lama, tapi tetep gue lebih tau soal anak gue. Bukan berarti gue nggak tau a-b-c-d-nya laki gue, tau dooong! Tapi gue boleh ngaku dengan mantab dan gagah perwira kalau gue expertnya anak gue. Secara kita pernah sebadan walau pun nggak sepikiran, pernah hidup dari denyut jantung yang sama, pernah kenyang dari asupan nutrisi yang sama, terbentuk dari DNA yang 50% sama. :)

Waktunya gue jadi expertnya anak gue nggak lama. Kalau pun dikasih umur panjang sampai dia besar, nggak akan terasa tau-tau sampai ke masa dimana temen-temennya mungkin bisa tau tentang dia yang gue nggak tau. Eh nggak lama kemudian sampe ke masa dimana dia lebih sayang sama perempuan selain umminya... Eh nggak lama abis itu jadi perempuan lain deh yang lebih tau dia ketimbang gue. Hmmmphh!

Tapi yang jelas dalam hidup gue, gue udah pernah jadi AHLI untuk suatu hal.... karena nggak semua orang bisa benar-benar jadi ahli dalam sesuatu. Gue bangga looooh! Jadi maklum lah ya kalo gue suka kepancing kalo ada yang tiba-tiba merasa lebih tau soal anak gue gitu. Maap ye, itu macam belagak ngasih tau Einstein soal relatifitas. Karena sementara ini gue lah sang PAKAR dari Muhammad Hamizan Hafidz. :)

But it wouldn't last long.... :')

Congrats for all Mommies who are the experts of her child, at least once.. :)

Lesson learned 2

We were having breakfast this morning when husband's friend suddenly text him to tell about my blackberry. Her name is Irma, husband's ex hi school mate. She was seating on our back while watching Cars 2 on cinema, with her husband and children. Her husband and daughter seat on our chair after we get out and found my phone which was off... battery was low. How coincidence... we didn't even know that it's Billy's friend who was seating behind us. Oh well... there is no such thing as coincidence! All planned pretty, pretty well with Allah's will.

So I feel like receiving another memo from God that says:
"My dear Di, please don't be sad. I love you, you know that well.I hate to see you sad more then your husband or your parents or anyone in the world. You have got your lesson, right? Now I give you back what you thought you have lost. Please keep close to Me, okay?

With the greatest love that nothing else could give you more,
God."


Alhamdulillah.:)


ps: my dad called me this morning to remind me back what he already reminded me before... My parent's and husband's love to me are so powerful, but God's love is beat-less! :)

Lesson learned

Not a pretty week for me this week... uhm, I might should say not a fabulous week. Where should I start?

I start with last weekend when my son's baby sitter who suddenly proposed for her day off that she can regularly take for 2 days in every month. Since it's her right then we don't have any problem with that, but it will be nicer if she'd tell us few days before. But thankfully my son doesn't really need much of her help anymore so a sudden day off wasn't a big deal actually, but that's not the problem... The problem is that she suddenly text me (after I text her to ask why hasn't she return yet while she supposed to return on the day before) to say that she couldn't work with me anymore. And that's it.... bye bye baby sitter!

So I've lost someone who used to help me to clean the house and do ironing, but I don't really like the person for some reasons either and I was like almost... almost to fired her once because of an absolutely annoying mistake she has done, well... I don't really miss the baby sitter! And everything are still under control. Alhamdulillah... And look at bright side, it makes me and husband working together to clean the house and take care of our son. And I'm more in love to my husband then before! :))

And I also have failed have not yet succeed in selling my lamp just because I didn't really check it before I hand it over to the buyer. What a wuss... Well, it makes me learn to be more conscientious next time. Awwkaay!

And the worse is when I lose my blackberry which just happened today.  We went for cinema marathon today, which was planned on the go. Me and husband really wanted to see The Pirates of Caribbean, but since there's no nanny then we should take our son with us too. We have set the condition for my son to be asleep during the film, well the film is clearly not for his age. Feeling guilty for making my son to accompany us for something he doesn't enjoy, I then asked husband to take our son to watch Cars 2. The idea has been approved, we then watch Cars 2 but at another cinema to match the movie schedule. Since my son has got enough sleep on the first movie, he didn't get sleepy at all while watching Cars 2. Wasn't that good? Well... it is actually almost impossible to make an 18 months old boy to sit and watch movie for more then one hour... at least to my son. He got bored after 40 minutes. So I toke him for a walk while husband still enjoy the movie. But that wasn't enough for my son, he wants his dad to be with him too, so we then left the cinema when the movie was still played. Then I realized that I have left my phone on my seat after we got home. :(

I don't feel really sad for my phone, I am more to feel embarrassed... embarrassed to God. Every time I hear friend or anyone saying that he/she has lost her phone or something valuable, I usually ask weather he/she has give enough for sedekah or zakat. And yet it happens to me. So I've been thinking a little more this evening, there must be something bad I have done and God is trying to remind me for it. Then it gives me a little flashback...

Few years ago when I was on my way to the airport to pick some friends from Malaysia, I accidentally hit a car which was rolling slowly in front of my car. I wasn't on a speed, it was like 10-20 km/h actually, but what caused me a car crash was a silly little mosquito which I was trying to kill... and BANG!!! I was OK, the car I hit was OK, but my car was crushed badly. I was shocked, didn't know what to do... it was actually my dad's car which he let me to use every time I need it that time. I was so shocked and felt guilty. My dad was quite disappointed at me, he should be... I made him spent a lot of money to fix the car. And something my dad has said to me that time that I will never forget was "God must have love you so much! Think of anything bad you have done, and why He is trying to remind you this way!".

And now it happens again. I feel embarrassed, like any wife feels embarrassed when her husband is disappointed to her, like any child feel embarrassed when his/her parents are angry to him/her, like any worker feel embarrassed when his/her boss is unhappy for what he/she has done.... God is unhappy with things I have done. Yeah, of course I have made tons and tons mistakes, continuously... and my worse mistake for today is that I have abandoned my Zuhur prayer just to watch movie and make it at Ashar, while I actually can make it on time. What a lame.

God might telling me this:
"Hey Di, it's not that hard for Me to get you to worse situation than losing a cellphone. But I love you, and pretty unhappy for you have abandoned Me... let this be a lesson for you to learn. You should think of Me more, I am The One who gives you love that you get from your surrounding, I am The One who gives you wealth so you can spend it to watch movie in cinema, I am The One who gives you happiness... Why wont you think of Me more? Is my love is not enough for you? 

With the greatest love you can never get from anything in the world,

God."


*astaghfirullah :'(

They didn't start it easily.

I met some new people recently. No, they are not my patients, they are people who was once in my place where I'm seating now. (So they've once using your laptop too?) Err... no -____-". They are successes entrepreneurs who once crawled from zero just like me now. I didn't waste my chance to get their experience, I've pretty much asked some of them questions, which they've generously answered and shared me their stories.

There was Silverius Oscar "Onte" Unggul, an eco-social entrepreneur who works for TELAPAK. He was one of some speakers on E-idea EA at Shangrila Hotel last Wednesday. TELAPAK is an NGO who works for the environment, what they have done and do pretty much inspires me. They save trees and help illegal loggers to cooperate with them and earn more money. While illegal loggers used to cut trees and sell woods in cheap price, TELAPAK made a system to certified trees which will worth more because each tree is noted for its age, height, diameter,  precise position and for each tree that is cut will be replaced with another tree. And when those woods are transformed into furniture or stuff like that, its certification will tell the buyer that that furniture is made from tree which was cut from where, in what age, what year and so... Brilliant idea!
Before he finally made those illegal loggers to cooperate with him, Bang Onte (it's how some people call him) spent 7 years to approach them. Seven years!!! In seven years he didn't produce anything yet, he just tried to get along with those loggers; sleep, eat, play soccer with them. The guy is so very nice, he shared me a social enterprise manual... I'm still learning on it.

And there was Wahyu Aditya, a quite famous entrepreneur who is the founder of Hello Motion. The man runs a design school, makes design festival once in every year, runs a distro, produces printed tees... He shared his experiences when he first run his business. It takes 5 years until he can say that his business is finally established.

And there was more couples of people who also has interesting stories... But what I can conclude is that the first 3 years of running a business is the period that we can say "masa berdarah-darah", so please enjoy! And another thing I got is, "motivation is above ability". When you (read: I) have a great motivation of doing something, you (read: I) will do anything to make something that seems impossible to be possible. Oh, cool! Saying it is so easy, but to do it is a hard work and "berdarah-darah". But bring it on! I - WANT - MY - DREAM - COMES - TRUE !!! You hear me universe??? I know you do! Make it happen!!!!!


Sincerely,
a trying-to-be-an-eco-social-entrepreneur yang masih kroco, coro, combro, misro, minumnya teh botol sosro. :p

Coral. green craft with the love to ocean

Apaan sih Coral.? Coral. itu mimpi gue yang lahir sekitar lima bulan yang lalu, dimana waktu itu gue lagi getol-getolnya browsing blog tentang crafting, dan lagi eling tentang gaya hidup yang ramah lingkungan... dua-duanya ditemukan, disatukan, lahirlah Coral. .

Agak keterlaluan emang kalau gue belum cerita tentang Coral. sedikit pun di sini. Maaf yaaa blog.... Padahal gue udah umbar-umbar di twitter, facebook, bahkan udah diikutin kompetisi dan sempet lolos jadi finalis segala. Tapi nggak belum sedikit pun gue share di sini. Ter - la - lu ! :(

Adalah gue, si tukang bosan dan selalu pengen coba ini itu. Salah satu dari sekian panjang list yang pengen gue coba adalah berwirausaha, tapi selalu mentok dengan pikiran modal, tempat, waktu... endesbrei. Belum lagi ilmu wirausaha gue itu yaaaah... hampir sama banyaknya sama ilmunya anak gue soal wirausaha kali ya... eh lebay ya? Pokoknya lo bisa bilang gue begok deh kalo urusan ini! Emang! Selama sekolah dan kuliah sayangnya gue sama sekali nggak dapat ilmu wirausaha. Dan di lingkungan keluarga pun tadinya nggak ada yang berwirausaha (keluarga dekat banget maksudnya). Sementara gue bisa lah dibilang manusia kebanyakan teori, kalo belum dapet teorinya kayanya belum paham gitu.

Tapi biar begok gue udah berkali-kali punya mimpi atau niat berwirausaha, kan ada laki gue kan yang pinter.... hehehe. Gue dan suami pernah berniat mau buka apotik waralaba, tapi pupus karena ternyata butuh modal yang nggak terjangkau. Pernah juga mau buka klinik gigi kerjasama dengan apotik deket rumah, udah sempet ketemu dan ngobrol-ngobrol sama pihak apotik tapi gagal juga gara-gara pihak apotiknya sampe sekarang menghilang aja gitu...hiiish! (tapi untung juga nggak jadi, kalo nggak bingung juga gue urusannya kalau akhirnya mesti pindah ke Balikpapan kaya gini.... tuh kan, emang mantep deh skenarionya Allah!) Terus pernah juga niat bikin bisnis pastry rumahan, udah pamer segala ke temen-temen, bagi-bagi taster juga... tapi pupus gara-gara gue nggak berani maju. Berat juga kayanya mau bisnis makanan yaaak...udah mana itu pastry gue bikinnya sendirian, gimana ntar kalo permintaan banyak, gimana kalau basi, gimana supaya tetep manteb sampe di tangan customer??? Kebanyakan gimana akhirnya gue ngak berani maju.
hehehe...

Tapi biar begok plus penakut, tetep loooh gue pengeeeeen banget berwirausaha. Akhirnya setelah tercipta ide bisnis kreatif, gue langsung bbm-in adik gue Nadya yang udah jadi entrepreneur duluan dari jaman kuliah. Setelah gue ceritain apa ide gue responnya cuma bilang "langsung bikin!!!!!!". Gue dengan dodolnya nanya "hah, emang harus gitu ya?". Jawabnya, "Lah, emang lo mo nunggu apaan? Bikin langsung!!!"
Wuiiiiih??!

Tapi terus gue pikir mungkin emang harus gitu kali ya kalau mau mulai usaha. Setelah ngebahas ide gue ke suami, akhirnya kita sepakat kalau bisnis kreatif ini bisnis yang nggak perlu tempat, nggak perlu modal besar, nggak perlu tenaga banyak. Terus dalam hati gue juga makin menggaung deh omongan adek gue "iya ya, apa lagi dong yang mesti gue tunggu?". Tapi saat itu respon suami sekedar mendukung (suami gue mah emang selalu dukung apa pun ide gue selama nggak kelewat sinting.... iiiiih cintaaaaak! :*) tapi dia nggak bisa ciptain ide-ide kreatif, jadi dia cuma bisa support mentally, while I refuse to be supported financially (taelaaaah... padahal mah tetep minta-minta juga dikit :p).

Sebelum tercipta ide bikin produk dari sampah, dan sebelum tercetus nama Coral., gue sempet trial and error bikin beberapa dua produk lampu hias. Keduanya hampir bisa dibilang gagal, eh...  satu deh yang gagal, yang satu lagi cuma gagal diterusin aja. :p

Akhirnya nongol deh ide bikin lampu hias dari sampah botol kaca dan bantal dari sampah plastik. Terus untuk nama, dengan picik dan amatirnya langsung tercetus nama "Coral." karena gue cinta laut, itu aja alasannya. Hehehehe... gue si wirausahawan amatir tolol yang masih belajar, sekarang mulai paham tentang pentingnya nama suatu usaha. Baiklah, sekedar masukan buat yang mau mulai buka usaha nih yaaaa.... bikin lah nama yang sangaaat kreatif yang nggak ada miripnya, yang bisa jadi tanda khas ibarat tompel pada Rano Karno, tahi lalat pada Marilyn Monroe! (menurut para "dragons" di acara entah apa tentang penawaran kerjasama bisnis ke para pebisnis multimillionaire di BBC). Yah tapi Coral. udah kepalang dikenal dengan Coral., dan gue belum ketemu nama yang kreatif, jadi sebelum bikin bubur merah putih, biar lah dia dipanggil Coral. dulu walau pun yang kenal belum banyak. Eh by the way... punya ide nama nggak lo? #eaaaaaaaa....!!!!

Nggak lama setelah gue punya ide bikin Coral., adik gue si Nadya (macam adik gue ada lebih dari 1 aje :p) lagi-lagi ganggu gue sama bbmnya. Tau-tau dia share link tentang kompetisi E-idea dari British Council. Idih, apaan ituuuuuuh???? Yang jelas, sebagaimana kompetisi-kompetisi lainnya, E-idea ini pun punya deadline yang harus ditepati kalau mau ikutan nimbrung. Deadline? Bagosss!!! Gue si pemalas ini emang butuh deadline, supaya ada target kapan produk gue kudu kelar. Sama seperti niat bikin bisnis pastry dulu, Coral. ini pun gue kerjain segala-galanya sendiri, kecuali bagian kapnya gue minta tolong ke tukang kap lampu. Dan sebagai one-woman-standing-for-her-own, cum emak rumah tangga, cum PRT, cum praktek.. aduhai begitu mudahnya buat melambat-lambat ngerjain satu produk aja. Jadi karena deadline, akhirnya gue ikut kirim proposal ke kompetisi E-idea ini, mepet waktu tentunya! :p

Ajaibnya terpilih lah Coral. jadi salah satu  dari 24 finalis. Kadang-kadang gue khawatir jangan-jangan jurinya keselip file gue diantara yang lolos jadi finalis... kok bisa lolos sih gue? Tapi gue sedih juga sih nggak dipilih jadi pemenang (eaaaa labil!). Tapi yaa nggak sedih-sedih amat, nama juga masih baru, kerja pun masih sendiri, satu-satunya tim yg gw punya ya laki gue. :p Dan gue lah satu-satunya finalis yang berdiri atas nama diri sendiri, bukan tim atau badan. Kalau dipikir-pikir, seandainya pun menang emang masih terlalu prematur juga buat Coral. kali yaaak. Iya deh...

Semenjak E-idea itu berhubung produk gue udah ada yang jadi, mulai lah gue mencari pasar buat jualan. Dasar emang gue wirausahawan masih kroco, membuat sesuatu itu satu hal yaaak, tapi bikin supaya yang kita buat itu laku itu hal yang lain, dan itu justru yang paling krusial! Jadi berhasil kah gue menjual produk gue? Belum. -_____-"

Beberapa lampu gue yang udah jadi sedang duduk manis di suatu stand di Koloni Mall of Indonesia dengan sisstem konsinyasi, sampai sekarang. MOI ini sepertinya memang nggak terlalu rame yaaak... dan Koloni pun setelah dua kali gue kesana emang terlihat sepi walaupun standnya banyak, bahkan ada standnya gantibaju.com lho di sana (kalo yang suka baca-baca tentang entrepreneurship pasti tau deh yang satu ntu). Trus kenapa tetep naro disana? Yaaaa... seenggaknya kalau ada  yang pengen liat produk gue langsung gue punya jawabannya gitu. :p

Dalam urusan berwirausaha ini gue masih merayap lambaaat macam ular ganti kulit, gue masih perlu belajar banyak, masih perlu usaha yang luebuiiiiih ekstra lagi, masih perlu dikasih hantaman motivasi dari kanan-kiri-depan-belakang-atas-bawah, gitu deh! Macam sekarang ini tawaran konsinyasi gue ke salah satu artshop di daerah Kemang ditolak boook, gara-gara target pasar yang beda. Mata gue kurang jeli kalau barang-barang yang ditaro di etalase mereka itu barang untuk pasar anak muda atau anak kuliahan, sementara produk gue dianggap untuk pasar ibu-ibu gitu. Aih, rasanya macam diputusin pacar! Ha ha ha ha ha.... Yaaaah nggak papa deh, namanya juga masih baru kaaaan? (menghibur diri sendiri).

Gitu deh lebih kurangnya cerita tentang Coral. lo bisa liat blognya di www.corallivingproject.blogspot.com atau follow twitternya di @coralproject

 

Berniat beli nggak? Beli dooong.... hehehehe... *jualan* :p

Tapi kalau pun nggak beli, paling nggak doain aja yaaa supaya cita-cita gue ini bisa tercapai. Sama kaya anak yang masih tumbuh, cita-cita Coral. pun masih dinamis gituh, tapi tetep manis kok. hehehehe.... Beli yaaak! *eaaaa... jualan lagi*